Zoo do you love

A couple of Saturdays ago, my wife and I were having breakfast when I asked her what she wanted to do today. She thought for a moment, and then said, “How about we go to the zoo?”
She knew this was a long shot, because I am about as spontaneous as a glacier. My idea of a rousing, impromptu good time is deciding to sit on a different couch to fall asleep on while watching the baseball game. Yes, I know — lucky her.
And she also knew it was a long shot because my Saturdays are usually my only time to do stuff around the house. I actually enjoy doing yard work and stuff, and feel a great sense of accomplishment when it’s done, so that’s kind of something I look forward to.
Both of those reasons tell you exactly why I was very surprised to hear myself say, “OK. Let’s do it.” Kinda sad that my wife actually gets a surprised look on her face when I agree to go to the zoo. Perhaps my spontaneity is in need of some revival.
Truth of the matter is, I love the zoo. Just love it. Even the nasty smells. Just something cool about seeing all of the animals. And the kids love it, too, so we always have a good time when we go.
The first animal we saw upon entering the zoo was a baboon. And, I am sure, you can guess the first thing my children wanted to know about it. “Diaper rash,” my wife said dismissively. I, of course, am not going to allow my children to be fed such nonsense, and explained to them that if you tell a lie, disobey your parents, or date before you are 25, that’s what happens to you. Education is key.
Next up were the tigers, which started as a big thrill, but ended in a bit of a disappointment for Parker who found it woefully discourteous of a tiger not to roar back. Of course, I am sure the tigers were sitting there saying, “Wow. A roar. How original. Hey, why don’t you come a little closer and let me hear it. Don’t worry about me. Just a lazy, ol’ tail-swatting tiger...”
One of the cooler things at the zoo is the lorikeet room, a big cage you can enter and have colorful birds land on you. You get these little paper cups of nectar, and the birds will come up and drink while perched on you. My wife decided that she would let me take the kids into the room, and she would stand as far as possible from the cage. In case you can’t tell, she doesn’t like birds. At least not on her.
So the kids were a little jumpy at first, as the birds flew around and hopped here and there. One landed on a nearby fence, and I saw this as a great time to let the little guy land on my hand and sip some nectar. He, however, saw this as a time to bite my finger, causing me to let out this muffled grunt of pain, trying my best not to let my kids know that I was trying to get them close up to a feathered finger vise. Allie proved to be the sensible one of the three of us and set her nectar cup down for the bird. Good move.
Next up was the penguin house, which is always cool to see. By the way, if you go to www.riverbanks.com, you can watch the penguin-cam. As I type this, a zoo worker in a yellow suit is pressure washing the rocks while the penguins waddle along around the worker. Undoubtedly, they are saying, “Where’s the fish? Where’s the fish? Seriously. Where’s the fish?”
Of course, one of the biggest hits of the zoo trip is the gorilla house. Invariably, one of the gorillas will be sitting near the big viewing window, and it is certainly fascinating to watch. Another thing I find very interesting in primate behavior is the need for some of the older ones to have complete and total disregard for the smaller ones. In particular, I am most fascinated by the big, lumbering primates on our side of the glass, who see no reason why they should stand behind a 5-year-old to view a gorilla. I am taller than the average person, and certainly taller than any of the children in the mix, so I make an effort to get out of the way of the little ones — or even the littler-than-me ones. Guess what — if you’re taller than someone and stand behind them, you can still see! Brilliant! But every time, there will be some big dolt pressed up against the glass, with the kids trying to peer around him to see something. I think that is why the gorilla often turns its back to us. It refuses to acknowledge our kind.
In all, the trip was a great success, as evidenced by the fact that Parker fell asleep before we were out of the parking lot. My wife was thrilled that I was willing to be spontaneous, even if it was something as plain-Jane as going to the zoo. Who knows — maybe this is a start of something new for me. Maybe I will be the most spontaneous person around from now on. Maybe next weekend — I nap upstairs during the game.