Swing town

Allie's eyes lit up when she opened the birthday present and saw the multi-colored wooden swing, which we told her we would hang at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

I am fortunate in that my kids love the basic toys. Fire trucks, swings, blocks, etc. I am sure they would love video games given the option, but since I told them video games do not exist and that anyone saying they had one was telling lies seems to have stemmed that tide.

When we got over to my parents' house, my dad and I pulled the swing out of the box in preparation of finding the perfect tree to hang it from. Unfortunately, the swing only came with an 8 foot rope, and anyone who knows anything about swings knows that 8 feet is nowhere near enough rope to be able to get you to a dangerous - and therefore fun - height.

So my dad went into the garage and found some more rope, and then we set off to find the perfect tree. We stood there in the backyard, and we were both thinking the same thing - man, I wish that tree was still there.

My parents' backyard has a nice, gentle slope. There are woods in the back, and when I was a kid, there was a path right thorough the middle of the woods. About halfway down the path was a great big tree that towered up into the canopy and gently arched over the pathway. I remember vividly as a kid when my dad shimmied to the part of the arching tree just over the path - easily 40 feet up - and tied a rope to the tree. At the other end we attached a tire and had the quintessential makeshift American swing.

The beauty of the swing is that you could get a nice running start and swoop down the hill, so that at the apex of the swing, you were quite high up. (I would give an estimate, but someone far better at geometry than I would probably correct me based on my guess of the tree height.) Regardless, you were quite high up, high enough to break my sister's arm when she plummeted from the tire swing as a kid. Good times.

But alas, Mother Nature had taken that tree down, and the path has grown up somewhat, so that even if you DID manage to swing through there, you would be playing a rather painful game of woodland pinball.

My dad and I agreed that we would consider clearing a new path in the near future, but for now we would find a slightly less awesome tree branch to attach the swing to. We found one close to the house, probably about 15-20 feet high. We attached the swing, and Allie was swinging away in no time, having an absolute blast. Of course, then my wife and mom had to come out and ruin the fun by asking, "Why is she jumping from a ladder onto the swing?"

Clearly, they aren't even trying to enjoy the swing experience. "To get more air," I responded casually. You see, you back the ladder up, climb up a few steps, and launch - a good enough swing and you can even come back and hit the ladder on your return flight.

I tried to calm my wife by explaining to her that our swing when we were kids was even higher and more dangerous. Apparently, she doesn't accept the argument that the one we had as children actually broke children's bones, so this was safe.

Of course, plenty of the playground stuff we had as kids was awesomely dangerous and, in fact, tire-related. I remember in elementary school when two of the most coveted playground toys were giant tractor tires. We would curl up in them and push each other around the playground. Occasionally, we would line up and roll into each other. Last tire standing won! Ah, nothing like the fun of spinning inside a tractor tire that, if it fell on you, would probably crush you.

Oh, and if memory serves, one of the first things you learn in giant tire spinning was to check for water. Most everyone at some point hopped in, tucked in their arms and legs, got a push from a friend and - SPLASH!!! - about 10 gallons of nasty, fetid mosquito-infested water dumped on your back.

My dad and I are still scouting out some new locations for the swing. We may end up leaving it where it is now, but we may try to track down an old tire and maybe have two swings. Who knows, maybe we can get a good deal on a couple of tractor tires while we're at it. The key thing is to make sure the kids get good, wholesome tire experience, just like we had as kids. Except for my sister. We'll try to avoid that.