That is the only possible explanation for why the dog's leash was not in the basket on the shelf.
That is the only possible explanation for why my daughter's bike helmet and scooter were not RIGHT where she left it.
That is the only possible explanation for why my son's shoes were not RIGHT where he left them.
Clearly, these things are coming to life and walking off to new and exciting places.
Let's start with the leash. Murphy the Excitable Dachshund is quite the adventurous dog. He is so adventurous that, should two children playing in the backyard manage to dislodge a fence slat, he will squeeze through and go exploring on the polo field behind our house. He usually doesn't travel far, and often seeks people who will either scratch or feed him. (I can't say I blame him. Good gig if you can get it.)
So when Murphy got out on the field, I headed out there and told the kids to grab his leash. When he gets in the open field and the kids start sprinting toward him, he sees this as a fantastically fun game and will embrace his chance to play chase. A leash is somewhat needed unless I want to carry him back.
I had him under my arm and was heading back as Parker came sprinting toward me carrying a thin black leash. We don't own a thin black leash.
As he got closer, I saw that what Parker was carrying was a luggage strap, which my wife had sent out after channeling her inner-MacGyver.
I got back inside, gave a "well-played" nod to my wife, and asked what happened to Murphy's leash. Silent shrugs from the kids.
ME: "I put it up in the basket."
THEM:
ME: "Did you get it out?"
THEM: "Uhhhh."
ME: "Where did you put it?"
THEM: "We didn't do anything with it."
ME: "So it just climbed out and left?"
THEM: "Yes."
So about five minutes later, I took the kids out front to ride their scooters. Allie could not find her helmet. "I left it RIGHT HERE!!!" she said, emphatically pointing toward a spot in the garage. Her scooter had apparently fled, too. Perhaps the helmet rode off on the scooter. A few minutes later, a neighbor called to Allie. Apparently, the scooter and helmet had made it all the way to the neighbor's yard where, surprise, Allie had been just a few hours prior. I guess it was visiting for old time's sake.
I asked Allie how the scooter got over there. Shrug.
ME: "Allie, do you think you maybe left it over there?"
ALLIE: "No, I don't think so."
ME: "Well, do you think it rolled over there?"
ALLIE: "Maybe. Or maybe Parker did it."
Lastly, the shoes. Parker's shoes often come to life and walk around the house. Odd that they never seem to do it after he's asleep. And the weirdest thing is how they will not stay together as a pair. I will find one shoe on the stairs and the other in the azalea bed.
Parker and I will often have this conversation:
ME: "Where are your shoes?"
PARKER:
ME: "Did they walk off?"
PARKER: "I think so."
ME: "Do you know WHERE they walked off to?"
PARKER: "My closet?"
ME: "No, that's where they SHOULD be."
PARKER: "I think Allie took them."
ME: "Lemme check the azaleas."
Now, Occam's razor tells us that a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old failed to put items back in their place or removed items to fashion them into something to be played with. However, maybe simple isn't the only thing to consider. Hey, anyone who has seen a "Toy Story" or "Child's Play" movie has at least had that one, fleeting moment where you are pretty sure that a doll just moved its head, and the thought, however ridiculous and brief, crept into your craw that maybe the doll had been playing with other toys when you were not looking. Or was about to go on a murderous rampage.
So I will work with my kids to get them in the habit of putting things back in their places, and keeping them there once they are home. In the meantime, if you see Murphy, just hang on to him for a jiffy. I have to find the leash.
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