Troll attack

Curious thing, the Internet.
Perhaps most curious is the notion that every single thing on it must be for every single person’s interest and entertainment, and if somehow it does not appeal to you, you should lash out with unfettered anger and criticism, the likes of which you would dare not do if someone knew who you were or, much less, was within arm’s length.
I base this on a few comments I have read of late, in particular some directed at me. Now, first let me tell you this: I have incredibly thick skin. You don’t get into this business and stay for long if criticism is your kryptonite. But it still struck me as odd when someone decided to line me up in his sights. For a couple of weeks, someone who is a clearly big fan of the newspaper and me has posted some commentary on our website regarding my column. I can’t print the quotes in their entirety, as SOMEBODY uses words not fit for a family newspaper. But I will address the main point: I don’t recall my column ever running on the front page, nor do I recall asking the reporters to stop gathering news so we could gather ’round the campfire and hear Uncle Mike spin a yarn or two ’bout the young’uns.
Another comment was on a YouTube posting of my kids on Christmas morning. The post read: “Y do I wanna watch ya’ll on christmas day.”
Now, I am not sure who asked this. However, I am fairly certain it is not Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Pop, Gran or Granddaddy, for whom the video was intended. The main reason I am sure of that is my parents and in-laws know spelling and capitalization and crazy things such as that. (You + all = Y’all. Proper apostrophe placement is key. Otherwise, it appears you are doing a contraction of “Yay” and “Ill,” which I guess means you are celebrating someone’s poor health.)
The grandparents liked being able to see their grandkids, at the time ages 4 and 7, open what Santa brought them. I should hope you would not want to watch this if you do not know them. There are no doubt thousands of Christmas morning videos online, and I can safely say I have watched one: my own. Should I come across someone else’s Christmas morning video, I will simply, gee, I don’t know – maybe not watch it? I certainly won’t take the time to comment on it. A quick keyword search on YouTube reveals plenty of videos I will neither watch nor comment on:
-- How to make butter
-- Paint drying
-- Jerry Lewis impersonations
-- Eating Ramen noodles
-- Bea Arthur singing in the Star Wars Holiday Special from 1977. (OK, that one is worth watching.)
The amazing thing is each of those videos have plenty of comments from people who sat and watched them and then shared their very personal feelings. What in the world is it about the Internet that drives someone to watch or read something they don’t like and then make their feelings so known? I have a few theories:
1. It’s finally a chance to throw out a controversial opinion, when you know that in real life offering up silly (or profane) commentary would get you publicly rebuked, privately chastised or, most likely, sensibly ostracized.
2. You haven’t the courage of your convictions. Otherwise, you’d have no problem attaching your name to something.
3. You’ve been on the receiving end of countless wedgies, nerples, swirlies and noogies, and you are finally channeling some of that anger in a new and unhealthy avenue.
Whatever the reason, it sure seems like people could do better things with their time than watch or read things they don’t like. I could sure think of something better to do. Such as watch Bea Arthur sing.