The first of first

The first day of first grade – an emotional roller coaster of fear, excitement, nervousness and anticipation, right? Whatever.
For Allie, this was a pretty routine today. Sure, she was excited. But we’re talking about the kid who is easier to get to bed on school nights because you can have this conversation;
ME: Allie, you really need to go to bed now. You know what tomorrow is?
ALLIE: Tomorrow? What?
ME: Thursday!
ALLIE: So I get to go to school again!?!?!?!
ME: YEAH!!!! (under my breath) sucker.
As the first day approached, she did seem to wonder what all the fuss was about. Grandparents and aunts were calling to wish her good luck and ask her questions about her school. With each phone call, she had a look of “It’s just school – what’s wrong with you people?”
When the big day came, my wife and I were well prepared. We always try to get everything ready the night before, with lunches packed and clothes set out. My wife has yet to embrace my brilliant time and money saver, which is to have the kids sleep in their clothes. Not only can they spring out of bed and be ready to go in seconds, think of the money you’ll save on pajamas.
The hardest part of the first day of school for many people is getting up early. Now, early rising has never been a problem for me. (My wife? Not so much.) But with the exception of special occasions when I had to get up extra early, I haven’t used an alarm clock in years, specifically six years, since that is how long I have had children.
For the past six years, when morning comes, I am woken up by the pawing of a small child, who wants a drink of water, a Pop-Tart, to take the dogs out, to read a book, to play trains, etc. I always gently lean in and whisper, “No, you want Mommy... Mommy. Go.”
Alas, the average life expectancy of a child-based alarm clock is three years, so when Allie reached three and began to find out how awesome sleeping in could be, my wife had two choices: Buy an alarm clock or have Parker.
Well, now Parker is getting to the age where, on occasion, he will sleep in. And I am pretty sure that it would be bad form for Allie to tell her teacher, “Sorry I’m late. My little brother forgot to wake up Daddy.”
So we have begun setting the alarm again. This is how the alarm scenario goes:
6:15 a.m. – First alarm goes off, set to NPR. I lie in bed listening to the news. My wife sleeps.
6:16 a.m. – I can listen to news later. Hit snooze. My wife sleeps.
6:22 a.m. – More news. Snooze. My wife sleeps.
6:29 a.m. – WE GET IT, NPR!!! TROUBLE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!!! CAN I PLEASE GET SOME SLEEP LIKE MY WIFE!?!?!?
6:30 a.m. – Second alarm goes off, this one a series of loud, horrific beeps that were designed by the Torture Institute of America. I spring from bed, ninja-like, hit snooze and start to go to partial panic mode because we are slightly behind schedule. I go to wake my wife, only to see her standing in the bathroom, dressed and blow drying her hair. I am not sure how she does this, but I am starting to think she can control time. Or she may be using one of those papier-mâché dummies like in “Escape from Alcatraz.” Either way it’s kinda freaking me out.
We have mastered the art of waking up sleepy children. Rather than asking them over and over to get out bed, we simply walk in, pull back the covers, and dump a huge bucket of ice water on them.
Ha! Kidding. We would never do that. My wife has assured me of that. No, all that you do is pick them up gently and stand them up. I have yet to see one of them fall down. They do this kind of jelly-legged groan, but eventually their brain says, “Yeah, we’re tired, but the legs are heading out. We better go with ’em.”
OK, so I have rambled way off topic. Not that that’s an uncommon occurrence. But back to the first day of school. It was just no big deal for Allie. She had a great first day, and was very excited about being in first grade. One thing I have noticed is that I have to fight the urge to say, “I can’t believe she’s in first grade.” It’s really not that big of a leap of faith to assume your child makes it there. It would be one thing if we were saying, “I can’t believe our little six-year-old is going to med school!”
So I do believe that she is in first grade, and I am glad that she is enjoying it. It’s an exciting time, where she meets new friends and has tons of new experiences. It’s fun sitting back and watching her grow up, and seeing her become a little more independent each year. Sure, it’s kinda scary to think that each year that passes puts her a little closer to being a grown up. But just think, years down the road, she may be coming home to visit us with her own kids. Which means I can finally turn off the alarm clock.