I’m sure most of you read a few weeks back about the Massachusetts couple that was kicked off of an airplane because their toddler was throwing a tantrum before takeoff, delaying the pilots from getting the plane in the air.
I wasn’t on the plane, so I couldn’t tell you a thing about the parents. But I was quite amused at some of the reactions I encountered. First, a friend of mine (whose wife is expecting their first child), offered this:
“If they had spent the prep time necessary to explain to their child what was required when they set foot on the airplane, none of this would have happened.”
I will now pause for everyone who has ever parented a toddler to let the laughter subside and then catch your breath.
Yes, you can sit down and reason with your toddler. You can explain to them what is expected of them. And they will have this moment where they look up at your, make eye contact, and stick a Cheez-It in their nose. That is how small children operate. The logic function is not fully developed, and therefore reasoning with them is akin to reasoning with your dog or your sofa. In fact, it’s a well-documented scientific fact that the reasoning part of the brain does not begin working until well into a person’s 20s.
I know what my friend is thinking, as I was guilty of it, too. Most everyone goes through this right before they become parents. You thought, “Well, my child will never...” and “I will NOT allow...” And you get a little agitated when your parent friends snicker and giggle and say, “OK, whatever... ”
And meanwhile you, not quite a parent but ready for the challenge, know that they are idiots. Bad parents. Unable to discipline. And then, a few years later, there you are, giggling away as a friend guarantees you that his baby will NEVER go around the house with nothing but a diaper. On his head.
Another comment I read was in an online sports column. The author said: “Not everyone in the restaurant thinks it’s cute when little Tommy bangs on the table because you haven’t taught him the word ‘no.’”
Clearly, this person either does not have kids or does not ever venture to a restaurant with them.
Now I know that some of you out there are tsk-tsking me, saying that kids today just don’t behave like they should, and parents let children get away with murder – sometimes ACTUAL murder, right there at the buffet line. Well, you may be right, on some occasions. Some people are about as good at being a parent as they are being a mockingbird (which, I think we can all agree, is not something many people are good at being).
But next time you are in a restaurant and said Tommy is banging away on the table, do me a favor: Take your laser beam glare off the toddler for just a second and cut the eyes over to the parents. Sure, some will be ignoring or even laughing. But more often than not, you will see a father trying desperately to distract the kid with the salsa dip puppet show, or mom shushing over and over to the point you can actually see a migraine forming in her head. Try as parents might, there is just no way to determine when the Intense Toddler Mode switch will get triggered.
Look, I know that it’s not a delight to be trapped on a plane or in a restaurant with a misbehaving kid. The one time I was on a plane with my kids, the plane was struck by lightning while still on the tarmac, and we were stranded on the plane for several hours. My son, who was two at the time, hung in there for awhile. But there was just so much he could take. I could tell by the looks I was getting that several of the people on the plane thought I had as much business parenting as I did flying the plane. What they did not know was that I would have loved nothing more than to have my son NOT be ragingly upset and simply relaxed and calm. A flight attendant came back to where we were, and I thought at first she was going to suggest Parker and I step out of the plane into the torrential thunderstorm. Instead, she told me she was checking on me and seeing if I was OK. I told her that I was fine, and very sorry about my unhappy son, as it was clearly bothering the other passengers. “Don’t worry,” she said. “They can buy headphones.” She is and will also be the world’s greatest flight attendant.
As I stated before, I was not on the plane when the couple got booted, so they may have been high-fiving, taking pictures, sharing with other passengers stories about their children’s first bathroom experience, etc. It may have been for their own safety that they were removed from the plane. But there is also a distinct possibility that the parents were doing everything within their power to make their child behave, but that it’s sometimes just out of the realm of possibility. I’m not saying you have to like it. I’m just saying sometimes, you buy a pair of headsets and drown out their horror.
Of course, if that doesn’t work, you can always sit back, relax and enjoy the salsa puppet show.
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