Bee cool

I am a great uncle. And by “great uncle” I mean “still a little brother.”
I have two 2-year-old nephews, Nick and Sam, and I have somehow become one of their chief corruptors. “Well, Mike,” you are probably saying, “surely this is just payback for the horrible, awful way your sisters treated you and then spoiled your kids, right?” To which I say, “Ha!” No, my sisters – I have three older ones – were always quite nice to me. Even protective, despite the fact that, when they had friends over, I rarely wore clothes. (That’s the kind of kid I was.) And as for the way they have been to my kids? Well, they have always been kind, sweet, caring aunts. They are far more popular than I am. So why would I act in such a manner? Simple – it’s really, really funny. To me.
It’s not like it’s really anything bad that I’m doing. I’m not taking them to the dog track or having them shoplift from liquor stores. It’s just the fun, routine, annoy-your-big-sister type stuff that apparently little brothers can never shake.
Case in point: The buzz game. I developed this game at my wife’s expense. She’s a preschool teacher, and on occasion I will stop by to see how the day is going and to juggle. The kids love juggling, and that immediately makes me WAAAAY more popular than the woman who makes them clean up after playtime, not lick scissors, etc. And, when I am leaving, I will hush the class so that all eyes are on me. “OK, kids – for the rest of the day, you’re bees! Buzz like bees for Mrs. Gibbons!” And then I duck out of the room before a copy of “Where the Wild Things Are” gets flung at me.
So the other day, I called my sister. While on the phone, Nick asked to talk to me. He is at the stage where he wants to talk to anyone on the phone. And, regardless of who it is, he usually has these questions: “Where are you?” “What are you doing?” “Can I eat this?”
My sister put me on the phone with Nick, and we had this conversation:
NICK: Where are you?
ME: I’m at work.
NICK: What are you doing?
ME: I’m wrestling dragons.
NICK: Can I eat this?
Me: Sure. And wanna play the bee game? Pretend you’re a bee and buzz for the rest of the ….
MY SISTER: YOU’RE ON SPEAKER PHONE!!!
Me: Oops.
When I saw my sister later, she rolled her eyes at my behavior, expecting that kind of stuff from that idiot little 8-year-old brother of hers. I told her I was just being funny. Very funny, indeed, she confirmed.
Fortunately, I did have one ally, my oldest sister, Laura. While I am vying for Awesome Uncle status, Laura has already cemented herself with Awesome Aunt status, namely because the answer to most requests from her nieces and nephews is “Sure, why not?”
To be fair, Laura is a great protector of the kids. But if you want a Pop-Tart, Coke or Popsicle? You know where to go. Want to pile the cushions on the floor and do couch dives? Game on. Wanna see how many Peeps you can fit in your mouth? Let’s rock.
Laura, who was there when I tried to get Nick to do the bee game, thought it was funny. And, as in previous times, I am willing to bet that she had the common courtesy to turn away while laughing.
Sam is going to be in town today, and I should have the opportunity to spend time with both Nick and Sam. When they take breaks from their junior ultimate fighting competitions, I plan on spending some QT with my nephews, showing them just what an awesome uncle I can be (ever played Backward Rabbit Hop? Awesome game).
At least I know one of my sisters will laugh.