Magic Vacation, part 2

So last week the family hit Disney’s Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom. This week, we conclude the vacation with a blitz tour of EPCOT and MGM Studios.
EPCOT, which stands for something that I once knew, is most known for its giant silver ball, called Spaceship Earth. Spaceship Earth had been shut down for several years undergoing a much needed revamping. The ride inside takes you through the journey of communication, and the last time I went on it, the ride ended with you traveling through a scene they hailed the future, with the announcer boldly predicting, “In the future, phones will have NO CORDS!!! You will be able to RECORD FROM YOUR TELEVISION SET!!!”
I was pleased to see that the future now extends beyond 1978. And the kids enjoyed the ride, too. Allie liked it because it was interesting and informative. Parker liked it because there were (a) cavemen and (b) football.
After Spaceship Earth, we milled about EPCOT for a while when it occurred to us: EPCOT is about as exciting to a 5- and 2-year-old as a tax seminar, so we decided we would scoot on over to MGM Studios. Our main objective at MGM was to hit Playhouse Disney, a stage show of the popular Disney Channel morning block of kid-friendly programming featuring such stars as Winnie the Pooh, Stanley, Jo Jo and Goliath, Bear in the Big Blue House and Gigantor the Destroyer (that last one may not be one).
At Playhouse Disney, they herd hundreds of parents and kids into a big auditorium for the performance. And if there is room for one more person, they will let another 50 in. (There is actually a sign posted that reads: “We are Disney. No fire marshall can tell us what to do.”) Once the show began, the kids had a great time singing and dancing to the songs during the performance. And when those doors shut, every adult in the room officially abandoned any shred of maturity and dignity. I think I could make a small fortune by videotaping the adults and then charging them a fee to turn the tape over to them.
ME: Ma’am, I have a tape of you doing the Morning Mambo in public. This tape can be yours for $50.
MOM: Sold.
Granted, in some ways, that’s what makes it fun. I mean, I have no problem making a fool of myself in public (Note from Mike’s wife: Really? Shocker there.) But for others, I think it’s a time to let loose some inner child that needs to get out and, well, do the Morning Mambo with an eight foot bear and 500 kids. Let’s be honest, in your job, when is the last time you stood up in the middle of your workspace, spun in circles and stomped your feet and popped bubbles? Well, yes, you, sir, we know. And that’s why you are no longer employed as a surgeon. But for the rest of us, it was right therapeutic, in a strange, geeky way.
After Playhouse Disney, I decided it was time to take Allie on her first Star Wars adventure. The Star Tours ride is a simulator that takes you cruising around in space (including a battle run to the Death Star). Allie is now tall enough to ride these rides, and seems to enjoy them. When we strapped ourselves into the Star Tour seats, Allie turned to me and showed a concerned look.
ALLIE: Daddy, promise this is pretend?
ME: Of course it is.
ALLIE: Daddy – PROMISE – we are NOT really going to space.
Of the few certainties in life you can provide your children, I felt confident that I could without a doubt promise her that, in fact, we would not go into space. (Although the 1986 Kate Capshaw masterpiece “Space Camp” did give pause for consideration.)
When we exited Star Tours, we were greeted by my wife, who informed us that the parade was about to start, and that some of the kids were being asked to be part of it. My wife decided to take charge and ask a Disney employee how one went about being part of the parade. “Here,” the woman said, handing my wife a blue index card, “I have one left. She’s in.” Simple as that.
Allie and about a dozen other kids would bring up the rear of the parade, carrying a velvet rope behind Mickey and Minnie’s car. Also, they had a peach seat right at the beginning where all of the characters walked past. Allie had very little problem becoming one with the parade, even showing a well-perfected princess wave.
By the end of the day, there were two very tired individuals moving at a slow pace through the parks. And the kids were pretty spent, too. That night, Parker and I bunked back at the room while my wife and Allie headed out for one last fireworks hoorah. Parker, bless his tired little heart, simply ran out of steam. When you are not quite 3 years old and log four Disney parks in three days, you get to the point where you just need to crash.
Allie’s highlight of her final night was meeting the princesses, which had been the goal of the whole trip for her so far. I did not meet any princesses, which in some ways is good, because it always seems like my daughter stands just far enough away so that I look like I am some creepy guy standing in line to meet princesses by myself.
By the time we pulled the car back in our driveway, we had logged a lot of miles and a lot of fun. We joke that this is our annual pilgrimage, and will hopefully keep going each year for years to come. And, for those of you who think the kids will outgrow it, you may be right. But I, for one, think you never get too old to drive far away from home, set aside your cares, and act like a fool in public. Now, if I could just remember the “drive away from home” part, I’d have it made.