Ten spot

Ten years ago this Friday, I got yelled at for not being in the church on time. I blame the folks who allowed my groomsmen and me to have access to a ping-pong table.
Yes, my wife and I are celebrating our 10-year anniversary. Much has changed in 10 years. A decade ago, I didn’t know how to change a diaper. I didn’t know that minivans were the greatest cars in the world. I didn’t know that it was a better idea NOT to stay out until 4 a.m.
Like anyone who celebrates their 10-year anniversary, we have changed over the years, hopefully for the better. Today, I figured I would share a few things about my wife and me that helped us reach 10 years.
1. First off, we have to keep reminding ourselves that it’s 10 years, because we actually dated for five years before we got married. My wife did the sensible thing and had me pass through a few phases of idiocy before we got married. She dated Fraternity Mike. She dated Fresh-Out-of-College Mike. She dated What Does He Want to Be When He Grows Up Mike. (For what it’s worth — a professional baseball player.) But five years of growth certainly did not hurt our chances at reaching the 10-year mark.
2. My wife does have a name. Someone pointed out a while back that I have never mentioned it in a column, but only referred to her as “my wife.” Her name is Jennifer, but I call her Jenn, as does her mother. Everyone else calls her Jen, which is clearly wrong, yet she will not even admit that. Her mother and I just sigh and shake our heads. She only calls me Michael. Well, that’s not ALL she calls me, but that’s the only actual, proper name she calls me.
3. I am very pleased with the progress my wife has made with animals. When we first met, she liked the following animals: newborn puppies. That is all. Since then, she has warmed up to big dogs and evil cats and snakes and turtles and flying squirrels and such. I think she finally came to the realization that the animals were going to keep on coming, and she might as well learn to, at the very least, not cringe when she sees them. (She’ll still take a pass on birds, however.)
4. She really means it when she says don’t get her anything for Valentine’s. Early on, we learned the key to a successful marriage: Don’t assume I can read minds. If you say, “Don’t get me a card” guess what — I’m not getting you a card. And for everyone who is fighting back the urge to say. “Oh, she SAYS that...” I assure you — she means that.
5. But, you’re saying, not wanting to leave No. 4, what about a 10-year anniversary gift? Well, first off, the traditional gift is tin or aluminum. Nothing says “I love you” like Reynolds Wrap. Second, I have a little confession — she handles all of the finances in the house. I used to, but apparently companies want you to send them checks EVERY month. I found it a hassle. My wife took over the finances, and in about 10 minutes had the vast majority of our bills online and automated. Granted, it’s not like I don’t have a checkbook, but it’s not really romantic or surprising to say, “Honey, I’d like buy you something extra special — which account should I write it out of?”
6. It’s nice to be at a stage when you can be honest with each other. If she asks me to pick between two shirts, I feel comfortable saying, “I really don’t care.” Rather than be offended, she will appreciate my candidness and say, “Seriously — pick one.” I will then offer my honest opinion (“The...blue one?”) and we move on. Similarly, she will offer suggestions to me, usually about how it was neat of me to spin around 1,000 times to the point of blind dizziness before picking out a shirt and tie, but how about I go with a different — and matching — combination.
With 10 years behind us, the natural thing for us to do is to look forward to the next 10 years and wonder what that will hold. On our 20th anniversary, our kids will be 17 and 15, so that is only slightly terrifying. Hopefully, the next 10 years will be rewarding, though, with more laughter than tears, more good times than bad. When we reach that milestone, I look forward to looking into my wife’s eyes and saying, “Can I have the checkbook? I want to buy you something special.”