Tent city

We may be a ways off from actual camping. But we’re getting closer.
My wife got me a nice, big dome tent for Christmas, which at first I thought was a not-so-subtle way of kicking me out, as my wife is quite fond of the outdoors, so long as she can view it from, at the very least, a screened-in patio.
Turns out she truly was thinking a camping adventure would be a good family outing. I told my wife that we should find a place in the North Georgia mountains...no, wait, Smokies, up in North Carolina...no, better — to the beach!!!
She gave me a condescending “Easy there, Sparky” look. “How about we take it for a test drive in the back yard first?”
Fine, whatever.
A couple weeks ago, the weather was warm enough to go ahead and get the tent out. I asked a friend of mine — an accomplished camper — how long it would take to set up the tent. “Probably 10 minutes,” he said. “For you? An hour, maybe.” Ringing endorsement.
I unpacked the tent and decided to enlist the help of my kids, which is kinda like asking squirrels to help. Actually, it would be like asking squirrels to help if the squirrels kept running off with critical pieces of the tent. I finally convinced them that (a) they could not take any parts away and (b) they needed to hold onto a corner and not move, or the tent would blow away and would eventually land on and crush a puppy or a pony or perhaps a litter of adorable kittens.
Turns out, the tent was a snap to set up, and only took about 10 minutes. (Take THAT, doubters!!!) It has a divider in the middle so that it can be broken into two rooms. Allie immediately claimed one room, leading Parker to immediately claim the same room. When Allie conceded that room to him and went to the other room, Parker immediately claimed the other room, too. Being the Solomon – like father I am, I gathered them both together and said, “Pick a room or I sell all of your toys.”
They ended up playing in the tent for hours. They had lunch out there. Allie brought some books out to read. Parker brought out a box of toy animals and set up a little zoo. Even when some rains came, I was pleased that it stayed dry inside, at least on the parts where the flaps were zipped. Where they weren’t zipped? Not so much. But easily cleaned up.
I left the tent up overnight and even offered the kids the chance to sleep in it. You would think I offered them a chance to sleep in a haunted house. The next morning, they were thrilled to see the tent was still up, as if tent bandits were going to creep into our back yard or something. They asked if they could have their breakfast out there, which was fine. Sprinting with their wholesome, well-balanced, Dad-approved breakfast of chocolate chip cookie dough Pop-Tarts, they sprinted through the drizzle to the tent. I sat and watched at the sheer joy and carefree happiness my kids had. I think some soft piano music played in the background.
They unzipped the flap and both turned on a dime. The sheer joy was now the look of sheer terror, and they sprinted back at double-time to the porch. I could only assume there was a crocodile or a homeless person or something. I flung open the door. “What’s wrong!?!?!?!”
“There’s....a....” Allie was trying to catch her breath.
“A what?”
“A....a....” she had to stop for a bite of Pop-Tart. Parker filled in. “A cat!”
Seriously? A cat? A cat? A regular cat? Not a tiger or a puma or Cat Stevens? A house cat? I went out to the tent and looked inside. Sure enough, a terrifying house cat that looked me right in the eye and said, “Meow.” It then walked over and rubbed against my leg while purring. The horror.
Eventually, I convinced them to head back to the tent (I think my words were, “It’s a cat, for crying out loud!”). When they were done, we packed it back up, which was pretty much as easy as putting it up. I have put the tent out one other time, again with relative ease. That time, there was no rain, but we found out that it could endure pretty substantial winds. That is, after you stake it down. Prior to that? Kind of a big, warped beach ball.
I am sure that we will need a few more test drives before we dive into the wild with the tent. Probably our first night will, in fact, be in the back yard. I would love to head out into the mountains and rough it for a few days, but let’s be honest — the woods aren’t always safe. Think of how many cats could be there.