Granny Ann

God bless Granny Ann.
Or Granny Anne. Or Granny Annie. Truth be told, I’m not totally sure of her name, since her introduction was not to me, but to her theater seatmate, my son, Parker.
We met Granny Ann during the Sunday matinee performance at the Aiken Community Playhouse’s production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.”
Parker and I were going to see his mother and sister, who were both in the fantastic performance. It is not because my gals were in this performance that I say it was fantastic. It was one of the most outstanding performances I have seen in a long time, although I would kindly ask that several of the songs get out of my head. I like them. I really do. But I can’t go to sleep these days without, “There’s one more angel in heaven ...” playing on loop in my head.
Anywho, I am always hesitant about taking little ones to shows, mainly because I don’t want to be the one leaving the show where everyone is motioning to me saying, “Yeah, that’s the one whose kid crawled under the seats, onto the stage and bit an actor.”
Parker and I talked extensively about expectations. Among the rules:
• You cannot point out when Mommy or Sissy is on stage. For two hours, they are someone else.
• You cannot have snacks. This is not the movie theaters, where we sneak in Skittles.
• You cannot go to the bathroom. There’s an intermission. You can hold it.
When we sat down, I was worried about who would be seated next to us. I know that people go to a play to enjoy the show and not be pestered by a little critter next to them, fidgeting, wiggling, singing the theme song to “Diego,” etc. Despite my preplay prep work, I was less than assured that Parker would be a perfect angel. He’s a good kid, but a play is still tough work for a 6-year-old boy who would REALLY like to be out hunting bugs.
I approached our seats. They were the two seats on the aisle. There, three seats in, was a woman with several friends. At first, I went to sit in the inside seat, thinking Parker could be safely wedged between the aisle and me. Our theater mate said that she would welcome Parker sitting there, which possibly could mean she simply didn’t want to sit next to me. I suppose that would not be the first time.
Well, after about four seconds, I knew we had hit seating gold. In no time, Parker had very little interest in my conversation, as he and Granny Ann were having a detailed conversation about bugs, grandkids, people he knew in the play, etc.
Parker, to his credit, was golden during the performance. He had a couple of times where he had to lean over to me and whisper, “That’s MOMMY!!!” But he and Granny Ann had a big time together, and at the end of the play, she told him that the next time she went to a play, she would look for him so they could sit together. He beamed a huge smile, and several times later that day, he reminded me that, essentially, he had a standing play date, as he was VERY good at the play, and Granny Ann even wanted to sit with him again.
When I was telling my wife about Granny Ann, she recounted another gift grandma we had. Several years ago, on a flight from Ft. Lauderdale to Atlanta, our plane was struck by lightning while still on the ground. The plane was unflyable, and we were bumped from flight after flight, finally getting on one about 10 hours later. Parker was 3, and Allie was 5. You can imagine how delightful they were after 10 hours stuck in an airport. When we finally boarded a plane, we were told there were two seats together in the very back, one right in front of those, and one at the front of the plane. Being the team player I am, I opted for the seat in the front of the plane. I am still working off those demerits.
But my wife and Parker sat in the back, and Allie sat in the row in front of them. There, next to her, was a Jamaican woman who chatted with Allie and sang songs to her and generally kept her calm and happy during the flight and became the Patron Saint of Flying with Kids.
So Granny Ann – or Anne or Annie – has joined to ranks of Jamaican Grandma on the list of people who have played special parts in our kids’ lives – and our lives – and may never know it. She is the Patron Saint of Sitting Next to Wiggly Kids at the Theater. Granny Ann, if you’re reading this, thanks for making a little boy’s day. He can’t wait for the next one. But remember – no wiggling and no Skittles.