Vacation by the numbers

The Great Florida Adventure 2009 has come to a close.
Yes, Team Gibbons has completed its summer sojourn, putting behind us much of the state of Florida during our road trip down to the Keys, across the Everglades, up to Sarasota and Tampa and a stopover in Orlando.
My wife made the plans for the trip, and I am pleased to say that we even managed to do some of it without actual plans, which cut into the very core of my soul.
I like order. Structure. Definitive schedules. (And I wonder why my 8-year-old is obsessed with what time it is.)
But I tried to go a little carefree, put the wind at our back and sail wherever it took us. But that’s irresponsible on an interstate.
So we set the cruise control, headed in a general direction and off we went for a fun-filled week-plus adventure. Here is the trip, by the numbers.
0 – Number of public city parks I would rank ahead of Sugar Sand Park in Boca Raton. Any playground in which kids can see if they can run faster than skunks is OK by me. The only downside – it was not actual, live skunks.
2 – Number of dead Burmese pythons we saw on the road in Florida. When I swerved the van off the road to get one to show to the kids, my wife said, “What...why...but...” And then she shrugged and said, “Kids, get out and see the dead snake.”
3 – The number of sea turtles that hung out by the bridge where we went fishing one day at Duck Key. It was good that they were there to entertain us, because of the two fish we caught, it was hard to distinguish them from the bait.
3.5 – The average length, in feet, of the iguanas we saw in the Keys. Since my last visit to the Keys three years ago, the population seems to have grown. By my estimate, there is roughly one iguana per square foot of Key.
4 – Number of otters we saw. Three were in an aquarium in Tampa. One owned a house in Ft. Lauderdale where we spent one night. Always good for fraternity nicknames to stick 20 years later.
5 – The longest time I waited in a line for a roller coaster at Busch Gardens, making Busch Gardens the greatest amusement park in the history of mankind. Oh, and speaking of roller coasters, both my kids rode their first loop roller coaster, The Scorpion. They were not able to ride Sheikra, the newest attraction, which is one of the scarier (read: better) roller coasters I have ridden. When you step off a roller coaster and your legs feel as though you have been on a boat for 12 hours – good times.
7 – The length in feet, I guesstimated, of the spotted eagle ray I snorkeled next to for a few seconds. It was a fantastic site, and as I swam next to it, I thought, “Hey, I have no clue if they have barbs or not, but I don’t want to be stabbed in the chest.” Bye-bye, Mr. Ray.
9 – Total number of days we spent on the trip, my longest trip since ... well, a college summer off. The last full week I took for a vacation trip was my honeymoon a decade ago.
10 and 75 – Years of the two birthday celebrants during the trip, my niece and father-in-law.
20 – Feet below the surface Allie and I went SNUBA diving. Yes, SNUBA. Tune in next week for more on what SNUBA is.
25 – Total number of friends and family members we saw along our journey, including stays at several kind friends’ homes.
27 – Length in feet of the giant squid preserved at the Mote Aquarium in Sarasota. My wife found out that standing alone looking at a giant squid enclosed in glass combined with a recent viewing of “Night at the Museum” is not a good combination. She is fairly sure it started to attack.
56 – Number of times my wife scolded me for commenting on the poor driving abilities of everyone else on the planet, most of whom who have no concept of what the left lane is for (answer: For me.)
400 – Average temperature at SeaWorld in Orlando last week.
1,800 – Miles we logged during the trip.
2,500 – Miles my parents logged during a trip to Maine during the same time period, which made our 1,800 less impressive.
So it was a great trip, and I certainly am glad that we did it. My wife and I have already started planning the next one. She said it will be an exciting summer of 2011. Apparently it will take a couple of years to get me ready to go again.